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21 November 2006 @ 02:50 pm

I have for you a tale to tell, a tale of woe and (moderate) suffering. A tale of destruction and violence... though not a soul died. Or as the americans like to say - No animal was injured in the making of this story! It is a tale of political machinations and dastardly deeds. For those of you who do not like such stories (those who do do not have to read this bit) I have to say now that it does have a happy ending!

It begins on a hot July evening, a young,beatiful (this is necessary or my death is imminent) wife is moving house alone as her husband is in a far away land earning a crust to support the family (and that is all he was paid, he did have a good time though). As she takes another heavy box into the flat she steals a depressing glance at the dire decoration that pervades the building. As she walks past the kitchen the feelings threaten to drag her into immobility. She forces her face away from the filthy, disgusting, ancient (it wasn't that bad actually but for dramatic liscence...(it was quite bad though)) furniture and cupboardry that is contained within this sorry looking space. She manages to continue with her work by forcing staring straight ahead. A haunting sensation of dread attemts to pull her eyes towards the terrible vista that she will have to live with, but through sheer stuborness (and she is very stubborn) she resists.

Fast forward to a time mere months after the moments we have been glimpsing and you see the same abode. A young, handsome man (yes, I know, more dramatic liscense, so sue me) is having a discussion with the same beautiful woman we saw earlier (this is her husband just in cse those who do know me might question the fact) about the dreaded room. We hear a brief snatch of dialogue,"and the oven doesn't even bloody work, I wanted pizza tonight." The coversation quietens as they come to an agreement and look lovingly into each others eyes. "We can afford it, just", they say almost together.

NB Just a quick reference to the handsome, young husband bit... Would you enjoy the story as much if he was a little wrinkly around the eyes and the hair was a little untidy, he is trying to grow it before baldness sets in. The beautiful wife bit is quite true (again necesary for the above stated reason). Just wait for the other main and incidental characters!

With the assistance of the attending family they search for a good builder (this is no easy task). Three were able to visit and provide what they consider to be an appropriate quote. One a grizled old man who taks a lot of sense, one a complete cowboy (I am amazed that he didn't come with chaps, a pair of pistols and a stetson) who was quite nice to begin with (but as we later found out was full of crap), the third was a local boy who would do it when he wasn't doing his full time job. The quotes are all noticably shocking. Their dilema is who to choose.

The atendant parents magically bring a solution, a group of Romanian builders who will do it for less than a grand. Magic of the highest order and how many cowboys do you know come from a financially chalenged part of europe!

Whilst all this has been happening, a number of visits to Ikea and Leroy Merlin are found to be desperately lacking. And yes we were ikead. Picture this, a day in december (no,no, no, this is a story not... that song), you arrive thinking kitchen and you leave thinking,"why did I buy that pot plant and plastic thingamygig holder?" The parents come along with their magic once again. A warehouse on the outskirts of Madrid, leaving us with a choice of bright red, or bright blue.

On this exciting cliffhanger I leave you to ponder, red or blue, and why no violence or destruction yet! But tough shit viewers the next installment comes soon...

20 September 2006 @ 05:45 pm
Haiku2 for fausteric
slowly release the
feelings enabling them to
learn how to manage
Created by Grahame
20 September 2006 @ 05:42 pm
If you check out the links in the below quiz thingy the second one links you to a site where you can meet singles with sexually transmitted diseases. How appealing does that sound!? I suppose at least you know.
20 September 2006 @ 05:35 pm
<td align="center"> fausteric --

An alien

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>
20 September 2006 @ 05:18 pm
I have had an unofficial complaint, that is one from a non ljer. He actualy challenged me as to why I was not updating. Ther are two official reasons, one is that I have a myspace as well which I need to understand further to complete the decor. The other is that I am relying on my internet connection at work. I will be having a connection from home soon (wireless (6 meg), and as I have a laptop at home it actually makes sense). The time frame is hopefully a week or so. I am also in the process of renovating the new flat. The kitchen is in dire need of a nuclear assault and so is the bathroom but to a lesser degree. Normal service will resume soon and I promise to give high priority to lj as opposed to myspace, it may be prettier but it is not as simple to use and simplicity is much more equated to style than complexity so myspace definetly comes second in that way as well. Perhaps a good comparison would be the meat market disco and the sophisticated gentlemans club.

1]Do you prefer to drink PG tips or sainsburys own tea?

As I can’t drink coffee, I would have to say that I do and I drink both. It is easier to find PG Tips in Spain but I would probably not be able to tell the difference.

2]When was the last time you watched TOTP?

Two years ago or more but they don’t show it in Spain!

3] Have you ever been to a pub?

Do I have to answer this, I am 35 and as far as I know most people of my age have done this… at least once a week both since and before they were legally allowed to.

4] Have you ever drunk cider in a park?

Probably but I don’t actually remember, do graveyards count?

5] Have you ever customised you school uniform?

I don’t remember well past the previous five years so unless someone who knows me does then your guess is as good as mine.

6] Have you ever spent over £10 a week topping up your mobile?

Rarely, I am on contract now but I consider the phone as a great device for passing on messages. If you really want to talk cafes or pubs are better.

7] Have you ever shopped at aldi/lidl/netto?

Lidl is good for few things but they are worth a look just in case. To be more specific, not for a big shop.

10] When did you start to go out clubbing?

16ish, when I was in college, bad mistake then, and bad mistake now. A strip club is a damn site more fun although a little more expensive. If you wish to drink go to a pub… If you wish to go deaf and dance go to a club (I don’t)

11] Have you ever laughed at kids with 'free lunch' meal tokens?

I don’t even know what you are talking about.
12] Do you call your mum by her first name?

Not to her face.

13] Have you ever shopped at New Look?

Isn’t that a girls shop?

14] How much are you willing to spend on a pair of shoes?

Boots, a hundred… shoes not more than forty!

15] Have you ever played a game of cricket?

Yes, and it may be slow but there is pain involved.

16] Did you like to play rounders at school?

No, bet there was little choice on the matter

17] Have you ever been made to do P.E in your underwear because you forgot you kit?

Not that I remember!

18] What's your favourite flavour of crisps?

A good prawn cocktail (some of the brands are just cheap and nasty)

19] Do you eat fish and chips regualry or have them wrapped in newspaper?

Not in the right country to do that sort of thig and even when I am they don’t use newspaper anymore.

20] What do you order from McDonalds?

Strawberry milk shakes, and if I have no choice which I usually don’t then I eat a quarterpounder with cheese.

21] Do you think £5.50 is a lot to go see a film at the pictures?

Depends on how comfortable the seats are.

22] Do you drive or own a car?

Yes and no, Yes I do drive a car (in fact several), but the normal one is owned by the ball and chain.

23] What did you do for your 'sweet 16th'?

Bad memory etc, etc, but going by my normal habits probably nothing.

24] What's your favoured alcholic drink?

Bitter, but bearing in mind where I am, ice cold lager in an ice cold glass will do.

25] What do you see when you look to the right?

Yellow, black and green.

26] What do you see when you look to the left?

Yellow, green, and pictures of demons from hell… such sweet little cherublike faces, AND MINDS OF PURE EVIL!!!!!

27] Are you friends with a chav?

Don’t have them here, just gits in tracky bottoms with post modern mullets and a penchant for tuning cars. Not too far off I suppose

29] Where would you class youself at school?

Freak, and not even one of those swotty ones.

30] Do you think we should bring back the £1 note?

Try washing a 1 pound coin and a 1 pound note and see what happens.


31] Do you think we should convert to the euro?

It would be a damn site less confusing and I wouldn’t have to worry about exchange rates. On the other hand the Euro notes do look like monopoly money.

32] Do you agree with the royal family?

I think Harry should be King, now that would be fun!

33] Have you ever been to london?

yes. Dirty, smelly place, wouldn’t want to live there.

34] Blackpool?

yes. Dirty, smelly, noisy place, wouldn’t want to live there.

35] Ireland or Scotland?

Yes to both. I used to live in Scotland and I may be returning to Ireland for six months.

36] Ever watched a football, rugby or a cricket match on TV or in real life?

Yes, but the football matcher ware Real Madrid (at the bernabau) and two out of the three matches were pants. They spent too much time checking their wallets and not enough time bothering to play. The rugby games, too many to mention and at all levels. And in the cricket, the horse won (ask lordeclipse)

37] How much do you get paid a month?

None of your damn business and not enough.

38] Do you listen to radio one?

Chris Moyles only

39] Do you have sky TV?

No, and I want it for the decent British TV, rugby and Top Gear.

40] Do you have a bulldog tattooed to your arm?

It is tattooed on your arm and no!

41] Do you say phrases like 'safe', 'innit', 'bloody', 'bugger' etc?

Bloody, yes, bugger, yes, but my current favourite is no worries.

42] Been in the channel tunnel?

Yes. Your ears pop a lot and the car train is very boring.

42] Been to the 'cheap man's' Disney World in france?

Went to the real one instead.

43] Where have you been on your school trips?

Wales (activity holiday), loved the archery. France, disliked the french (particularly that woan in the post office).

44] Do your parents have a school photo in their purse/wallet?

Hopefully not.

45] How many pairs of trousers do you own?

Unable to count from here, but at least 8 not including jeans.

46] ...and underwear?

Who counts their underwear?

47] Have you ever been to the bookies/made a bet?

About twice and I lost both times.

48] Where do you do your food shopping?

Which ever is closest, currently Al Campo.

49] Where is an average weekend spent?

Doing as little as possible.


Yes, it is the only nationality that I have (I am Welsh as well but I’m not sure that it counts)


27 July 2006 @ 07:25 pm
I was right my time did evaporate, I got up at 11am and found out that I had to catch the bus. My bus originaly said he would give me a lift to Corcaigh Airport. I left the house at 15:20 and the bus was leaving at 15:30. The next bus would be an hour later so I would have missed my plane. I am here in the UK so I mst have made it. I am now sweating more than I was in Spain and it was forty plus there. The world is now at peace for a while (until Leni arrives of course but I have a cunning plan. I have also had an offer to work in Ireland for 6 months, which is nice. And Leni is all for it, as we have just bought a house this is a big surprise.

Go with the flow Dudes and Dudettes
26 July 2006 @ 04:55 am
I am sitting here listening to Neil Sedaka and I am going home later on today. I know I have lots of time but I also know that the time will be swallowed by natural occurences. I have some goodbyes to say which I did not expect. I also recieved some goodbyes from some of the students on Sunday when they all went home. Some I had taught and some were just on my bus run. Wyomie is some one I ca't forget (comlete nutcase), I even stayed longer to go for a beer with Da Boss and Alvaro. 

My flight leaves at 19:10 and I have a barbecue to go, with more strange people (goths). I sort of know them from lj but I want to meet them as people as I know that what you see here is not what you will see outside lj. I also have a proper goth disco (can you really call it a disco still?). Interested but not sure if I should go. I need some black trousers as I avoided bringing any to Ireland with me to avoid scaring off the students too much. Bearing in mind that I am now branded a "feaky" because I like heavy metal and play role games, this may not have been necessary. Seems to work for some.

I am looking forward to returning to one of my normalities. When Leni comes over that may be a little less free but as the wife has moved since I came to Ireland, and only she has the keys... perhaps my feelings of loss seem to come into perspective. Once we are home  and I actually have a set of keys things may change.

As for the Neil Sedaka bit; my parents used to play a tape of his in the car all the time. This is one of my vague memories from those times. My boss was nagging about what I listen to (I don't like your cds, don't forget to remove  them when you go, and we kept hearing "sweet caroline" from the down the street somewhere. I was downloading reggaeton for the school disco and I ended up downloading Sedaka as well.

Feel sort of good, sort of sad, and sort of excited. Life always throws up stuff so keep on your toes because not all of it is bad. Hope this ramble wasn't boring and no spelling corrections please.

Peace out dudes and dudettes. (yes, I am a little stoned... but perhaps your not, so up yours)
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: not saying, too embarassing
25 July 2006 @ 01:49 am
People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.
People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

A compassionate dictator, how exactly does this work unless its a schitso thing.
25 July 2006 @ 01:43 am
Some of your friends have extremely strange opinions and habits.

This was one of the statements in a questionaire for lj. Now if you know me then you at least know two or three of my friends. If can say yes to both of those statements then you are probably one of my friends anyway and therefore you are definetly in the affirmative.